Apposite's Gluten-Free WAN Emulators

Today’s Wall Street Journal described how due to the popularity of
gluten-free foods, food producers are stamping many of their products
“gluten-free” even if like milk and yogurt, they never contained any of the
grains that include gluten.
(http://online.wsj.com/articles/how-we-eat-the-gluten-free-craze-is-it-healt
hy-1403491041?KEYWORDS=gluten).
So we’re happy to declare that all of the Apposite Linktropy and Netropy WAN
emulators are 100% gluten free!  They also contain no GMOs, no trans fat, no
HFCS and no artificial sweeteners.  It would be hard to claim that they’re
all natural and we have to admit that they contain artificial coloring, but
they are high in iron and many other minerals that your body needs.
But the real question is, are they healthy for you?  And that’s a clear yes!
Sure, you may gain a little weight since you won’t be running around
fighting fires all day dealing with application performance problems, but
most studies say that a peaceful night’s sleep is far more important, and
that’s what you’ll get knowing your applications work as expected and your
boss isn’t calling you at 3:00 in the morning from Beijing because he can’t
download his power-point presentation.  Most important is that lower stress
from problem-free implementations means a healthier heart and a better sex
life.
Sure, you could take a pill instead, but for long-term health, you need one
of our blue WAN emulators.
–To the FDA.  This is humor.  While we do promote a stress-free lifestyle
through application testing for network managers and application developers,
we’re not seriously trying to recommend that people stop taking their
expensive drugs.  In fact, many of our customers are those very
pharmaceutical companies, as well as the hospital groups, medical insurance
firms, and some of the biggest consumer food and drink companies.  We don’t
really want them to go away.  So please don’t sue us. Instead, you ought to
get one of our WAN emulators yourselves to help with your own organizational
efficiency, just as many other Federal agencies have already done.